How Our Quarterly Baby Became an ArtPrize Baby – Part 3

We are now in Triage, I’m wearing a hospital gown and the nurse just confirmed that yes, my water had broken (oh really – I thought I just drank a lot of water). I am still 2-3 cm dilated. Hmph I was that last week, but that’s okay I have another 22 hours before things get serious… except the nurse just told me that the doctor on call would like me to get some Pitocin. Whaaa??? Why? I just got here?! Thankfully the nurse agreed and we would continued on our way without any additional intervention at least for now. I’ll show him!

Yep, things are getting more uncomfortable, things are still leaking but I am now getting my brain wrapped around the idea of me delivering a baby with a 9/26/11 birthday. Until Adam pointed out that unless I had said baby in the next 15 minutes this child would have a 9/27/11 birthday. Oh right, man my brain was off.

Minutes ticked by and Adam told his parents I was in labor. They drove in from Muskegon. So crammed into my triage room are his parents, my mom, Adam, a nurse and swollen me (wearing two gowns one facing forward and one for modesty sake.) Everyone is excited, meanwhile I need to get moving. I can’t sit still it makes me focus on the contractions a bit too much.

At some point that night the three of us are pacing the 2nd and 3rd floors of labor and delivery. I am escorted around with a clear bag of liquid that is hooked up to my wrist. Still not sure what it contained, whatever it was… it wasn’t a pain reliever. We pace and we stop, I think through the contraction, we pace and we stop some more. This is getting worse, I realize now I need a room… pronto!

I land in a room (nice and spacious with neutral decorating taste.) Cue the mental check list: bed [x], heating table for baby [x], bathroom [x], big ass vanity mirror permanently affixed across from my delivery bed [x]… SHIT. I didn’t want a mirror, like all the other couples taking the tour on 7/28/11, we said no to the mirror. I trust the medical staff. I normally don’t see that um side of myself why would I want to see it now, when things will get stretched and scary. there is no way to remove the mirror and Spectrum doesn’t have a courtesy curtain to cover up the offending mirror. My only hope is that the doctor who will deliver my baby has a big enough head so he will be able to block my reflection.

I am still able to move, but I have since forgotten about any of the birthing positions, the special breathing, the massages and quite frankly anything else that is helpful. I am taking deep breaths but I am not doing anything else to help the pain. I stare at Adam and squeeze his hand. “Man, that was  a strong one, ugh I will need that epidural soon.” I meet my labor and delivery nurse, Dawn, she rocks, she is amazing and she is sarcastic. I can tell we will be friends even if she will see me naked from my belly button down. I also meet a medical student, I thought he was just taking down my name and basic vitals. I realize later he is part of my delivery team. Here is how that conversation goes, “Hi my name is [insert random student name] I will be observing your delivery tonight.” “Oh nice to meet you, [would you like some pop corn and a front seat to the freak show, anyone else joining this little session?]” Clearly that part of the conversation only occurred in my head. I might be in pain, but I still have my biting sarcasm. My dignity, however, was checked at the door.

Nurse Dawn checked my progress, thankfully I am now 5cm. Suck it pitocin, I won’t be needing you. But we realize that this process will take a while, Dawn expects me to progress about 1 cm an hour, meaning? It would be after 7:00am before Hercules joins the family. This information was given to us at 2:00am, by 2:30am we sent home our parents. Adam’s mom needed to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed by 5:00am for daycare, my mom needed to let the dogs out and needed rest.

By now I’ve progressed enough that my contractions were kicking my ass. I was still taking deep breaths, but now I am moaning, I am looking straight through Adam… this isn’t pretty bring the EPIDURAL STAT!


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