How bad was your morning? Oh comically bad.

If my life was a scripted sitcom it would not have had as much situational comedy as my real-life morning. So let us begin…

6:30 a.m. My alarm went off. (Adam had come home about 45 minutes earlier having worked an overnight shift.)
6:50 a.m. I realize I am still in bed and that apparently my blink took 20 minutes. Undocumented minutes when I should have been getting ready.
6:51 a.m. I remember that I am taking Henry to daycare (add another 15-20 minutes of clothing struggles and car seat maneuvers.)
6:55 a.m. – 7:10 a.m. After gathering my clothing so I can dress with proper lighting and less disturbance to Adam I go into the bathroom. I turn on the shower, grab my toothbrush, root around in my make up drawer.

7:11 a.m. Walk back over to the shower.
7:11:30 a.m. Realize I am stepping into quickly accumulating water… about 1/2 inch, that has now taken over my bathroom. Well a third of it. It’s now pooling around my toilet back behind where the most questionable dust bunnies normally live. (ewwwww.)
7:11:31 – 7:15 a.m. Panic because I cannot seem to process where the water is pouring out of.
7:15 a.m. Notice it’s the shower, the shower head is pointed at a gap in the curtain and tiled wall. Water has been shooting through here for the last few minutes. Engulfing 1/3 of my bathroom in water.
7:15 – 7:30 a.m. Sopping up misc. water with my nice towels, our dryer is not working properly so we have a backlog of laundry including our second-rate cleaning towels.

7:30 a.m. Fire alarm beeps once.
7:32 a.m. Fire alarm begins to ring. But only downstairs (we have them wired so all four should be going off now.)
7:33 a.m. Hear Adam stumbling half asleep down the stairs. I follow.
7:34 a.m. We learn that there is water dripping THROUGH our fire alarm, through the ceiling, right beneath our bathroom.
7:35 a.m. Watch Adam fetch the step ladder from the basement. Watch him come back without step ladder (if it’s at your house, please return it to us.) He teeters on a dining room chair instead. He dismantles the fire alarm.
7:36 a.m. – 7:38 a.m. Apologize profusely for causing a disturbance and ripping him out of his sleep.

7:38 a.m. Henry is still sleeping. Return to bathroom and start getting ready for work. Pack up car, go get Henry.

8:15 a.m. Get Henry, who is in a great mood and slept through a fire alarm.
8:21 a.m. – 8:30 a.m. Chase Henry around the house who is screaming, “I am not going to school today. Mama doesn’t work today, Dada doesn’t work today. We stay home. I build a fort.”
8:32 a.m. Shove Henry into his coat while he eats a squeezie.
8:37 a.m. – 8:45 a.m. Successful drop off. (Once he is pried from my leg.)

8:50 a.m. Roll into work 20 minutes late. Realize my media rep is early for our 9:00 a.m. Skip breakfast. Engage in a two-hour meeting (we scheduled for one hour.)

The redeeming part of this morning? He brought me Starbucks.

The End.


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