Over the years Adam and I have really gotten to know each other (numerous years of dating and over seven years of marriage is likely to do that), but I still find myself pleasantly surprised by him.
Valentine’s Day weekend proved to reinforce the “unconventional” part of love. Adam is a wonderful spouse, he is funny, he is very smart, he takes excellent care of our mini man and last, but not least, he is handsome. Oh he has done the conventional before – flowers, chocolates, gifts and treats for this, the most “Cupid” of the holidays. But I’d like to focus on the atypical ways that he shows me truly cares.
#1. Planning a meal out. I am a planner to my core, but I love it when someone takes the time to research some plans for us. That weekend Adam insisted we tried Cheshire Grill (it’s a cute little diner in our neighborhood that I will cover more in my next post.) I wouldn’t have ever considered it, but I was so glad he invited me there. I ate the best burger I have ever had. sigh. love.
#2. Being kind to others. Nothing is sexier than a man who is helpful and kind to others. I especially experienced this during Henry’s Valentine’s Day party at his daycare. We went there to hang out with our mini man, but Adam ended up reading to a little guy whose parents couldn’t come to the party. They read about Pete the Cat rockin’ in his shoes. sigh.
#3. Traditional acts of chivalry. Dust off your manners and suit up. Just because Adam does something traditional like open a door or pull out my chair, I am not checking my feminism at the door, in fact I don’t expect these actions all the time. However, it’s nice to have your chair pulled out, the door opened, a helpful hand given etc. from time to time. It reminds me he cares with these small unspoken deeds.
#4. Buying a meaningful gift. Gifts are not necessary, but when they happen they are appreciated, especially when they are thoughtful. So you need to know your audience. Adam knows I love Downtown Abbey, he found an interesting book about how lives differed for servants and the families that lived upstairs. I couldn’t put it down all weekend. He also spied a Red Wings t-shirt he knew I’d love. Well done. I am now fashionable and well read.
#5. Unique and quirky signs of love. This category I feel is actually most important. I have two examples here. I was getting ready for church and running behind (shocking, I know). This means no breakfast and no coffee… until I heard a knock at the door. In comes a hot, steaming cup of coffee with a ceramic lid to keep things warm and hairspray-free. YAY!
After church I wanted to visit my Dad. I didn’t really consider the fact that the cemetery doesn’t get plowed in between the grave markers so…. you will need to climb into some deep snow to visit a loved one. Yeah… we don’t own sled dogs or snow shoes. Adam trudged ahead in thigh-high snow in some places so I could step into his footsteps and get just a bit less snow on me. This was a win-win, I didn’t end up with as much snow, Adam was my hero and my Dad was able to witness our comedic approached pierced with my periodic screams as I’d sink too deeply.
#6. Show you care every day. Small things matter more than gifts, fancy dinners out and chocolates. Throughout the week I get to experience this kind of love, with shared bedtime reading so I am able to catch up on Downtown Abbey or have extra time to workout. I find sushi tucked away in the fridge to enjoy on a night Adam works late. The car is out of the garage, ready and warmed for my daycare drop off. Lovely, just lovely.
It’s not a one-size-fits-all kind of love, it may work for one couple but not another. It is unique to the couple and it can be expressed through kind words, actions, thoughtfulness, a good laugh and an all-around-bit of help when it’s needed.