I’ve temporarily inherited the appetite of a toddler.

I’ve heard many friends tell me over the years that though their subsequent pregnancies were similar the experience was still different and unique. I realize now that this is true. The cravings are still similar – my body has a physical revolt to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and sweet smell of wine or hop smell of beer. Sorry Starbucks and sorry wineries! I’m not worried my love for these vices will come back. I still love juicy fruits, but this time I much prefer a grapefruit over a melon – not that different I suppose. However, last time when I set my mind to a particular craving, I. HAD. TO. HAVE. IT. My relationship is “complicated.”

The Process.

• I crave something.
• Then I have to smell or think about it to make sure my brain and my stomach agree.
• Afterward, I proceed to order it or cook it.
• Once cooked or served, I have to make sure that it’s still sounding good to my brain 10 min. later.
• Finally, I have to taste it.
• If it tastes fine, then I may safely proceed.
• If it does not, I have to start over and quickly. For the hungry and the queasy do not wait.

More than once, I’ve had to choke something down or opt for another food because partway through this process the idea of what I was about to have fell apart. So when I have a craving the first question Adam asks is, “Is it a hankering? Or a craving?” Then we need to determine if I still feel the same when it’s actually time to eat.

I can be partway through a meal and my stomach decides enough is enough. It not only tastes “bad,” but it actually tastes “repulsive.” Dear fried chicken this is why we broke up early on.

Sweets?

Nah, I can skip those now. I’ve had a lifelong sweet tooth. Particularly chocolate. A love/hate relationship like any other woman. I can skip it now and not feel the pressure to just have one bite. When I eat it, sometimes it tastes to sweet. Who is this person?!

Gummi candy I still like, but it’s not a must for me to thrive. However, the more sour, the better (this especially because of the constant queasiness.)

Sour!

Sweet Jesus bring on the sour! I cannot get enough of it. This time around it’s all about the balsamic, “hello caprese salad!” “Heck, just pour it in a cup so I can drink it.” Yes, I’ve read conflicting reports about balsamic vinegar and pregnancy safety, but I am happy to report that my particular stash is California compliant (apparently that’s a big deal on the west coast.) I don’t care, it’s sour, that is all that should matter. sour.sour.sour.sour.sour…..

Chicken…

Not really, it’s kinda gross. Chicken my go-to meat is no longer, red meat? Oh yes, bring on the steak. Since when?!

I am looking forward to the second trimester which will include less of the constant-jet-lagged feeling I have been navigating for the last 8 weeks. This might also loosen some of my must-have-it-right-nows. I hope it allows me to return to a semi healthy diet, you know where all of the food groups are enjoyed and I don’t feel like I need to eat my weight in cheddar and sour cream chips (which by the way, no longer sound good. Broke up with those during the holidays.)

Will this new kiddo be a picky eater like our Henry? Will he or she have some other food quirks? Is this pregnancy already telling me some things? I think it’s too early to tell. But if you will excuse me I have to find something sour to eat.

Setting Goals & Hopes for 2015

I started writing the title of this post as “Setting Goals & Expectations for 2015,” but I quickly realized that will not be accurate. Now that we formally announced baby #2 being on its way this July I realize that expectations are the first thing to shift and change. With it comes a new set of challenges and adjustments we’ll all need to make, not just me, but Adam and Henry as well. For some reason I think the pets will be okay.

So instead of setting high expectations and then disappointing myself daily I am going to shift those to goals and expectations to goals and hopes. Largely inspired by my Evil Twin, and fellow blogger Jacqui, you really need to read “Dear self (a letter for 2015).”

Therefore, without further delay, here are my goals/hopes for this year.

1. Begin to workout again. I am no longer looking to be in the top five of my work’s daily mile challenge; I just need to be healthy and gain some muscle tone again.  Once the weather thaws  Maya and I can pick up where we left off with our walks. But I cannot turn into a plump marshmallow this winter. Now that the constant queasy feeling will be subsiding soon I am looking to start something new, prenatal yoga. Here is the one I’ll try.

2. Find time for me. I know what happens, it happens to me from time to time. I get so wrapped up in routine I forget to take time to rest and relax, to sit still and read or work on art projects. The results end up being a miserable me. The one that snaps at people and feels annoyed while awake. I don’t like her, and neither do you.

So I will try the following:

Read 10 books in 2015. That doesn’t sound like much BUT, Goodreads sadly informed me that I only read six in 2014. That’s embarrassing, I have a bookworm son, why don’t I practice the same? What happens if I don’t make my goal of 10? Nothing, it’s a goal but I will not let it eat away at me if I end up with less books read. They are still books read and that in itself is an accomplishment.

Be artsy. I pin ideas on Pinterest all the time. I whisper “I can make that” so many times at art fairs. So why don’t I do something about it? I know this one is harder than picking up a book, so I won’t set a quantitative goal, but I will do my best to carve out some “artsy” time this year, even post baby. Nothing big, nothing complicated, but definitely rewarding (a few canvases for the baby’s room and a big city canvas for Henry’s big boy room, those are my hopes.)

3. Eat healthier. I typically do a descent job eating healthy, but first trimester is a bitch. I have to think ahead about what I can eat, will it still sound good after work? Once I cook it, will it still smell good to me? When I eat it, will I be able to finish it? This time around things are more unpredictable. What is a craving one day becomes a horrid experience the next. I am worse than a toddler. Once the queasy feeling subsides in the next week or so, I can start to focus on flavors and seasoning as well as variety.

Courtesy of Red Tricycle.

4. Leave the house. Yeah this will be a huge post-baby challenge for me. When Henry was a newborn I became so worried about leaving the house I became afraid of him crying in public. So much angst, I started to stay home too much during my maternity leave. Those days I don’t want to relive. Thankfully there is Henry now, the little kid who likes to go places and do things. Thankfully this will get us out of the house, whether to the park, Children’s museum, or the library. Don’t worry we’ll get it figured out even with a newborn in tow.

5. Stop stressing myself out. I am an only child and thereby I must set goals that are too complicated to complete, or too far out of reach and then I make myself feel badly about it. Well this year I am going to step back and think twice about my goals and hopes for the year. I am free to adjust them as necessary and as long as I find balance between restful things, creative things and things I need to do I think I’ll be a happier me.

Here is to a new and exciting year.