This Time it’s Different

I never put much stock in those words, “this time it’s different.” Pregnancy is pregnancy, right? Not so, but for many more reasons.

1. I’m 4 years older. I thought being a healthy individual would be enough, but my doctor and Mother Nature remind me that there are more aches and pains as we age. You learn to deal with it, or whine a little as necessary.

2. You carry the baby lower. I thought this was a falsehood, but no I am already panicking as I pull out my slightly too-short-to-look-cute maternity pants, because let’s face it, my regular ones aren’t meant for this um… girth.

3. Cravings differ. Yes, I still have an aversion to alcohol and coffee, just like last time. But I am not craving juicy fruits, my “queasy” stage lasted a two weeks longer (AWESOME). I would be mid meal and I would have to walk away. This is not as familiar as I expected.

4. We’ll get there. The baby’s room is still very much a “storage” space from when we moved (8 years ago) and from our recent master bedroom repaint (the guest bed is a perfect space for pictures and random clothing). I feel like I have all the time in the world to get organized to tackle the closet of Moving Shame (8-year-old box fort anyone?) It has a domino effect, can’t do much with the baby’s room until we clear the shelving downstairs to move books and tchotckies. Can’t do much with those items until we get frames and hang things up on the walls. Can’t get to that part of the living room until we get the toys downstairs into the new “creepy” playroom (I hate this idea). Can’t start the playroom “repaint/remodel” until we undo the “storage” it has become.

5. I know what is at stake. Last time my pregnancy was very much an abstract concept. A little sea monkey was developing and using my various innards as a springboard of fun. I wasn’t attached to the idea of motherhood. The ultrasound was an abstract experience (is that my uterus we are exploring?) I had lost my dad only 2 months prior so much of my pregnancy was shrouded in grief. I was afraid to expect a baby in the end since I could lose it just like I had lost my dad. Yes, I never thought past the pregnancy. So, Motherhood and all it entails, came as a loud, jarring alarm clock. This time, I know there is a tiny person growing, I know he or she is nudging around and reminding me to eat well and keep us healthy and safe. It’s depending on me for this. That’s a huge difference. I am its home, its safe keeper, its nutritionist and its story reader (thank Henry for his vast interest in books at night.)

It’s simple that huge.

I have a feeling that this Thursday afternoon I will cry like a baby when I see the little shape wiggling on the screen during the ultrasound, while Henry meets him or her for the first time. He will likely ask many questions over and over again, and it will be a special moment to share with him. He will likely bring up the experience for many months to come.

So if anyone asks me, is the next pregnancy different? I can answer with certainty that it is.


Taking a Peek at Wee Ramseyer

I have to say that so far this whole pregnancy thing has been pretty good. The nausea has left (thank you week 13), the appetite is escalating (hello empty fridge), I still fit into most of my clothes (not for long) and most of the time I look “full” not pregnant. (I have one ddm co-worker to thank for that precious comment.) Granted, all this will change, I will eventually join the ranks of women who don’t sleep through the night, who will have to find *gasp* “panel” pants that are long enough and survive some uninvited Buddah belly rubs. I will take it in stride and swat away hands as necessary.

Today was an important day in this pregnancy journey. Today Admo and I found ourselves together at our first official ultrasound. Depending on the shyness of our wee Ramseyer we would learn if we were having a baby linebacker or a baby frilly pretty pink princess.

As we’ve seen in many movies, we found ourselves in a small exam room, ultrasound machine and stomach goo all cued up for the big reveal. Our moment to shine.

Politely the tech asked if we wanted to learn if we were having a boy or a girl. We said, yes, however, we wanted to be like those annoying romantic comedies where the couple has the results written down on a piece of paper, stuffed into an opaque envelope, put under lock and key and saved for a special date in the future. Our magical reveal date is Wednesday, May 25th barely over 24 hours from the ultrasound.

So the exam went on without a hitch, we learned our child has a good looking brain (who knew brains could be so darn good looking.) We learned our child is digesting (yay for stomachs and healthy appetites), we noticed our child comes equipped with a pair of hands and a pair of feet. Both complete with phalanges. Another good sign. Two sides to the heart, check. Strong heartbeat, check, eye sockets, 2 of them, check. Spine, yes! Got one of those and it’s looking good. The checklist was worked through and we learned that we are the future parental owners of a large/tall baby. Not shocking, somewhat expected.

And baby complied, it was a “flasher” as our tech remarked, clearly taking after Adam’s secure, in-front-of-people-on-stage-performer personality. Without shame or shyness it showed the tech what she needed for a gender confirmation. It was promptly written on a picture and put int our little envelope. Sealed and transferred directly to Adam’s pocket (he didn’t trust me… I don’t blame him.)

All in all I rate the experience pretty high up in the out-of-body-this-cannot-be-happening-to-me experiences. We were watching our child squirm and stretch on screen and yet it felt like we were watching a movie, starring someone who happens to have our profile and our unique mix of genes. We left smiling armed with a row of wallet-sized scans of various baby parts, waving hands, alien baby face, rump, spine, the works – proof that this child is ours. They don’t let you leave with another family’s ultrasounds.

We may not be mushy, gushy, tears-welling-up-special-moment type people, but we are thoroughly looking forward to finding out who is lurking in my uterus. And we are definitely enjoying this experience day by day and week by week. In case you were wondering, I believe we are having a boy, the Chinese gender chart and 9 of 10 prediction quizzes simply cannot be wrong. But we will see after work on Wednesday, May 25th.

Stay tuned, we just might share with you.